I AM A KALON

THE BOYS WHO FOUGHT IN NAM

Passed hand to hand ,

the wishes, 

the dreams,

the hopes,

of an entire generation

an entire nation

sent to war,

a score,

of old men,

leading our boys

to die,

while we watched

in horror,

in pain

in grief,

the disbelief,

that we had to loose ,

so many of our boys,

their toys,

barely left behind,

their eyes,

so young,

so bright,

so full of hope

the fight

so long,

so sad,

the pain,

so bad,

the wounds

so deep,

until at last,

our young men sleep,

in their makers arms again

their names  carved,

in stone,

never to come home,

never to touch our tears

again...

lest we forget

lest we grow old,

our hearts must never

 be so cold.

we must not run and hide

we must remember them

the boys who died...

let it not be in vain,

let us not forget,

the pain,

the cries,

the agonies,

the braveries,

the heroes,

and the smiles,

that time, 

so long ago,

across so many miles

caught in a place so bright

so green

caught in a place 

just between

hope and lies

we must remember still,

the promise that,

we always will,

touch our hearts

while still,

we can,

remember,friends...

remember...

the boys who died,

who lived,

who cried

the boys who fought

in Nam.

hey guys,

I know this was a lengthy one but if you made it to the end congratulations! In this post i will be sharing a bit more about my self because i got a few requests! Moving on, i wish i could take the credit for that beautiful verse but naah.. i did not write that! Again..I DID NOT WRITE THAT! But it is however one of my favorite poems ever, I came across this poem in a novel i read years ago, "the cover page above" i lost that book, and i also lost my diary where i wrote this poem out (long story), but i never forgot it.. i searched forever for it on the internet and finally found it recently, sadly it was written by an  anonymous poet.. a father who had lost his child to war, and left to bury his  teenage son. He somehow found the perfect words to express every feeling he felt down to the last full stop and in all that grief managed to shine a ray of hope to all the other fathers going through the same thing and that's what poetry does!Gives a voice to even the deaf and dumb! So, I got some requests to share some more personal experiences and things about myself so here goes.. i'll try my best to answer all the questions i can as efficiently as possible.

 About my poetry, my gift , my blessing?. I think for the better part of two decades i've been in love with literature as a whole, in its various forms. I've written a hand full of short stories and a dozen more of poems, A lot of which i lost to stolen phones, torn up diaries, bad computers that needed flashing and what not.
The truth is people tend to pay little or no attention to poetry. We underestimate how powerful words are when properly constructed, and at a point i did too. At a point i thought of poetry as lame, i became too shy to profess my love for it, years passed by and loads of poems i wrote over the years were lost. Someone asked me to share my story and i thought why not?


I read my first book ''the sky is falling '' by Sidney Sheldon when i was in primary 5. I had no interest in it at the time but my sister made me read it because she wanted me to start working on  my vocabulary from a tender age, it took me forever to finish that book because it was really big with a very small font compared to what i was used to at that level. I read it anyway, and by the time i was done she gave me a couple more..and i kept reading.. by primary six , i had read a hand full then i had this little book where i write new words and their meanings, just like that i started making sentences with them and from those, i made verses which translated into poems. over time i joined various book clubs, and thus began my logolepsy. Someone also asked How do i do it? well , i would say its a bit of an aleatory situation because i find that i can't just sit anywhere and just write, its like a combination of factors coming together to create the perfect atmosphere and oddly, they come by quite often. My inspiration could be an experience i have had in the past, or that of someone close to me, a movie, a song, or just the perfect view, really its nature . Said sister also pushed me to open this blog, and at least share my gift with the world because frankly i kept dreaming of my poems being heard but i had no idea how to go about it, i just had pages and files of poems stacked up and rotting away.. so let me use this medium to thank my sis (u know urself boo).. cuz you really wouldn't be reading this if it weren't for her, and every single one of my siblings have been extremely supportive in my journey and it has only just begun. 
Over the years, I've been called a lot of names ranging from weird to crazy but i believe in poems,that's not gonna change. I am a kalon, poetry made me a kalon. Its my thing..i find that i am happiest with a pen, paper, and words..  as Jack kerouac said ''don't use the phone.People are never ready to answer it. Use poetry"
Kalon- a Beauty that is more than skin deep (n).

I hope you enjoyed reading this , be sure to subscribe, comment, and share

WITH ALL MY HEART,
PAMELA.

LETTER TO SELF...

Dear self,
We've come a long way
and i wish i could say
the worst is over.
if i told you that
then that would make me a liar.

What I can do however,
is act as a reminder,
at times when you forget,
that what you give,
is what you get,
nothing more nothing less.

Sometimes you will give love,
and get nothing in return,
that happens too...
it doesn't make you weak
doesn't mean you are a fool
it's just the world we live in.

Be careful of people,
they will come and go,
beware of foes,
but even more of friends,
no matter how little,
they affect you the most.

The moment they get you
and make you feel indebted,
that union has become infected.
Let them go,and pay what you owe.
for every lesson bad or good,
for each experience, be grateful.

Be careful how you place people
don't mistake a confidant for a constituent.
or a constituent for a comrade..
remember that there is very little,
be it marriage,friendship or career
you can achieve with no commitment.

When peace does not work,
be ready for war.
do yourself a great favor,
and take what is yours,
because no one cares,
if justice is truly served.

The most valuable lesson,
you will ever learn,
is to be the only person,
on whom you can depend
be selfish, be ruthless,
when it comes to your happiness.

Discover what you want,
and learn to ask for it,
if that fails,
go out and fight for it,
one of the greatest battles,
you will never regret fighting.

If you doubt all else,
believe this.
friends will hurt you,
lovers will lie,
you will try to be tough at first,
in the end, you will break down and cry.

You won't always have your way,
the road will get very bumpy,
you will be drenched in sweat and rain,
 life will bring you to your knees,
and some days,it would seem,
like you are your own worst enemy..

In time you will learn;
to let go of those who hurt you..
that man is not God..
that time heals all wounds
that there is no price on love.
and life sure as hell will go on.

To take each day as they come,
heart breaks aren't the end of the world,
treat people as you want to be treated
because sometimes,tables turn.
and most of all
true love will not return to you void.

Although there might be no such thing
 as fairy tales and fantasies aren't real,
true love is the only stability there is,
and other than the love of Christ,
 there is no love greater,
than the love of one's self.
  .
Then you will learn,
that For every plan A.
You will need to make a B,
And for every B, a plan C
lest you forget,
there are 26 letters in the alphabet.

Dear self,
you are not who you used to be,
and that is the hardest part,
when you learn not to judge others or yourself
for the mistakes of yours or their  past,
then your lesson has become complete.



HEY GUYS,
I want to talk to girls and guys alike today my self included. This poem is self explanatory and the title is exactly right, In fact it is exactly what i needed. Remind your self everyday if need be, that your happiness is yours to create, to define.  Don't apologize for who you are,  if there is room for change, by all means make changes... but not to please people. Change to be a better version of yourself. Here is a School of thought.. to ease the decisions for you, assume yourself to be opposite sex .. for instance.. if I Pamela , were to be a guy, would I want to spend the rest of my life with Pamela?..what i am trying to say is GUYS, WOULD YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH THE MALE/ FEMALE VERSION OF YOURSELF? if you can honestly answer that question then you can say what goes and what stays. I'll share a story, I once met this guy , who was so smart, knowledgeable, well informed, and guys his vocabulary was just crazy.I remember sneaking through my phone dictionary when we talked, and i would nod and smile and simply reply ''yeah you are right or I know exactly what you mean, or same here'',( lol as i did not want to fall my hand..) but his fear of being a disappointment  to his friends  or his family, and his guilt for what ever it is he did in the past kept him from great opportunities he could have had, he never thought he was good enough to have anything good and this affected his life in so many ways i cant even begin to explain. Thankfully he knows better now, and things started to change for him. All I am trying to say is... sometimes it is okay to remind yourself of your good qualities. Run very far from those people that only remember that 1 bad thing you did, and will hold it over your head forever, rather than remember the 99 you did right... ANYWAY , I don't want to preach a sermon today so... guys ..CHOOSE FORGIVENESS and be free and happy or carry the burden of guilt around for the rest of your life, its your choice,
 
  IF U ENJOYED READING THIS, SUBSCRIBE , COMMENT, SHARE LINKS, FOLLOW THE PAGE... I LOVE U GUYS !


WITH ALL MY HEART,
PAMELA.

The rib i came from.

Perfectly carved,

in a Godly fashion,

richly endowed with so much wisdom,

confidence, beauty..

exuding strength,

with so much ease.

But starved..

of love and affection.

 loneliness,His impending destruction.

Laid to rest at the potter's feet,

robbed of his sight

by a deep sleep.

I was taken from his sides.

Not from his head or from his feet,

but from his ribs,

because at his side ,

is where i was made to be

not above him or beneath.

Then in me the potter instilled,

part his joy, part his sorrows

the answers he would need,

for the questions of the morrow.

part his pleasure part his pain,

and when his pride would stand in his way,

part the humility to speak the words 

his pride wont let him say.

Part his sickness, part his health;

Part his weakness, part his strength

breaking him at moments,

when feelings need to be felt.

Part his laughter, part his tears,

the potter knew he would reach

and he wanted me  near.

Part his hunger, part his thirst

and to each other,we would always come first.

Part his suffering, part his rest,

Completing him as I would come to know best.

From his ribs, the potter carved me,

equipping us for a journey.

once more,

he instilled in me

some sort of knowingness,

That a time will come

that the need for words,will be less.

And when it comes,

I must hold his hand,

and through the silence, 

of a million words,

walk with him.

And all this I would come to glean,

in the fugitive time,

we would have together on this earth;

lives entwined, 

and bodies  distinct,

but originally designed,

to become one.

And even before our eyes saw,

our souls knew of the potter's plans

and when the time comes,

it will be an honor,

to find the rib i came from.

To stand at his side again, my pleasure.

HEY GUYS, 

  I am sorry for the late posts.. Let me start by saying, I see your comments and appreciate every last one and those who wait on purple note posts, I see your messages too and I will really try to be more  consistent.

 So this poem is really self explanatory, and it is dedicated to us single gals..(wink)  that are about to  or have already given up and just settled for being  a cohabitant or sex mate,side chick or whatever else perverted forms of relationships are being practiced these days,those being played, used, violated and abused both verbally and physically. Those of us that find ourselves just constantly in toxic relationships and somehow got it in our heads that its what we deserve.Sis,I have good news, there is someone better out there. Keep your legs shut, your dignity intact and your principles and values checked, wherever you threw your standards and self respect, sweetie, pick it up! 

  Many times people tell me, ''Pamela, the reason you are still single is your standards , they are too high.'' and to that I say , ''Let it be'' ! If refusing to be a side chick, or a friend with benefits or demanding to be treated with respect means remaining single, I will gladly remain so. Sometimes it might be tiresome, depressing, or even suicidal( lol) but it doesn't mean the sun will now stop rising from the east, and start rising from the north. My mom taught me a long time ago, to be enough for me. If you want cake for valentines, buy yourself the creamiest that money can buy. I know I did. If you want a candle light dinner, with  a 3-course-meal, then that is exactly what you should do. Wear a pretty dress, put on Some sexy shoes, and beat that face, take yourself to dinner and just slay baby girl! There is no law against that. I know guys that will read this and laugh and call it pathetic hehe and it may seem that way at first, bit it beats being someone's  booty call or punching bag. That guy is coming, and it might take a while but he will be worth the wait infact you can querry and harrass him for wasting your time(please don't do that, i did not send you oh!) and guys, same goes to you, She definitely will be worth the wait. While we are waiting for the rib we came from, y'all guys should be waiting for the one that left you. P.s guys its not okay to chop from mercy, clara, candy, beverly,bisi, joy, kemi, dora, bisi, titi , halima because you are waiting.. AH! and you know from day1 oh .. that they are not the one but just to keep body and soul together.. all I can say is.. your Judgement is great in Heaven! you can't chop all of them and now be looking for virgin mary, in what world does that happen? Its not a crime to be a single male!

IF U ENJOYED READING THIS,PLS LIKE , LEAVE A COMMENT, SHARE,JOIN THE CIRCLE, FOLLOW MY PAGE,. I CANT WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

With all my heart,

PAMELA.

'' THE MEDIA'' DISGUISED SLAVE MASTERS.

     Hey there guys, I won't be posting any poems today but believe me,what i have is much more promising. So I  thought its about time I said something about how  nudity among women  is hitting the roof these days.  I switch on my TV and all i see is beautiful NAKED women. I dont care if its a commercial for  fruit juice or candy, or a new car brand , or a perfume , some kind of cosmetic like a lipstick or mascara, somewhere in it is a half naked  woman that even sometimes has nothing to do with whatever merchandise they are trying to advertise.  The worst part of it is in the music videos that are being released by the mainstream hip hop artists and if we are going to be real 80% of the time ,it is the women of color that are objectified .

Taking a close look at the picture on the left side of your screen, it depicts punishment of a slave by her owners on a ship back in the early 17th century. Taking a closer look we can observe the distinction between the dressing of the slaves behind and the masters. Slave women and men walked around naked, while the masters were fully clothed. In comparison to the present situation we are faced with, i find that the only difference is that the slave masters don't have whips anymore, but they still have every bit of control now , as they did back then. The influence the media has is remarkable, slowly but surely, sanity is going out of fashion. They parade nudity around like its nothing, and the young people are quickly picking it up, most especially the women, and what better way to sell it than through television. We young people buy everything they sell hook, line and sinker.. Little  by little , one after the other,pieces of fabrics are missing from outfits, opaque fabrics are replaced by transparent ones , and sooner than later items of clothing will become irrelevant all together. Now divert your attention to the second picture, cut out of a music video , now i am not familiar with this artists, or the song but i am very sure that these four naked women are completely irrelevant and unnecessary. The growing battle between cultural and commercial hip hop leaves us at a total loss. Our boys are trying to be gangstas , chase paper and get bitches, while our girls are trying to slay, and twerk, and inject their butts with whatever it is they are using these days.Notice how we are now having more baby mamas than wives? Ever wondered why that is? Lets come back home to our country, take a look at our own artists, they are dropping one single mother, per single these days... these are things that were clearly frowned upon, but now becoming socially accepted because the media has sensitized us. Besides, why is it always the women that are naked? when men are trying to display their sexiness , the most we see is chest. But girls... oh no! They dress the ladies in such a way that little or nothing is left to the imagination.. the more trends are evolving, the more naked ladies are becoming, while guys stay fully clothed. Statistics shows that out of the 600000-800000 cases of human trafficking in 2004, 80% were women, 50% of which were minors. 1 in 6 women  have been victims of completed or attempted rape. 10% of  violent crimes in 2003 involved battery and physical assault on women.9% of murder cases were women killed either by spouses or intimate partners. This shocking statistics in combination with the two pictures above speak volumes of  our present predicament . If ladies will start respecting their bodies a little bit more, and refuse to be victims of media mind control, then maybe we would be getting a little more respect than we are being given. 

Thanks for reading this article. Leave a comment, like share and follow...

with all my love,
PAMELA.

''ROOTED''

           

The world ;

 tried to shake me,

and make me who i am not,

they tried to steal my identity,

and by my own strength,

I fought and I lost.

They  defined me ,

with  petty words

                                                              told me who they thought I was,

and who I should be

and I succumbed 

to their will

A king,

bent to my knees,

while life adjourned, not withstanding 

They stripped me ,

with eyes,like sharp edged glass

every glance,

piercing through my very covering...

They took my faith,
and turned it to uncertainty
and when the wind came
I found my self swaying
from side to side,
with no sense of direction
trying to fit in,
where I  clearly didn't belong
when the storm did come,
I had no place to hide..
because like the titanic,
I let the words in,
inevitably i did sink.

I stumbled and fell,

a million times over,

with every cell 

of my being, 

starting to give in...

Deeply rooted,

but  my branches and leaves,

while swaying to the rhythm of the winds,

stayed in doubt , of things unseen..
Till He showed me peace ,
with Every spoken word,

every chapter, every verse ,

pulled me deeper and deeper,

nourishing my very essence ... 
  

Soul, body and mind,

all surrendered,

to One so kind ,

in whom i'm delivered.

Deeply rooted,

in my Fortress,

in whose presence,

I find my purpose...

Ever grateful ,

for roots so deep,

turning everything shameful,

to beauty, unthinkable, 
divinely nourished and evergreen..

                     

  Ever seen a plant without roots? It cannot stand, therefore can't be nourished and consequently, it withers and dies.
  You have the privilege of  choosing your roots,and  designing your own foundation. Whether you build on sinking sand or on the solid rock, is a choice only you can make.If a house standing perfectly just one day falls to the ground , i am no architect but i am pretty sure the foundation is not right,like wise If your life is not going in the direction you may have envisioned it i am pretty sure that you need to re evaluate your roots Because if you are not deeply rooted in something, if your house is not well founded on solid rock , the wind will come, and the storm will follow, and people won't help you then I can promise you that. Where better to be rooted than in something supreme and everlasting?

with all my love,
Pamela.

MORE

MORE...

My judgement is worthless,

suddenly I don't make sense 

just because I have breasts,

I am more than just your mother,sister;

I am your Seed,

much like you

I have a heart and feelings.

alone and in need,

in my fragile little state,

 longing to be loved 

From whose groins 

I was made.

Yet he sells me off,

to a man I know nothing of

for a few bottles of wine and kola nuts.

he makes me feel useless

because i don't  have a penis 

I have so much to offer,

if only you would listen

 for a minute or two

and let me prove to you,

that i am more 

than your daughter,your sister or wife..

I am your partner,

I am more than a tool 

for child birth and sex

i am more than your cook,

lover,maid or mistress;

In the face of all the chaos,

I am your calm.

I am your friend,

with a helping hand

always ready to be lent.

but you think so little of me,

I am so sick of being abused,

mistreated, undervalued.

Give me a chance to prove ,

that I am more

 than one of your toys or property,

I am a jewelry,

I beautify my nation,

I bleed for humanity,

I am not your liability,

or your problem,

on the contrary,

I am the solution.

I represent a breed of wisdom,

and I demand my freedom.

for I have served..

with my body, will power, devotion,

I am a warrior

my existence is a constant struggle.

to be loved, respected, accepted..

I am more than a cross ,or a burden,

I am not your failed project,

I am an asset,

I am the crown on your head,

I am purity, I am majesty

the change you require

the happiness you desire...

I am much more than 

your lover, sister,wife, daughter, mother, 

I am more than just human,

I am a WOMAN.

    Dear boys, guys, males, gentle men... do not be offended but I have decided to speak up for my ladies. Many women are indeed breaking ground now, pursuing their careers and making names for themselves and one would think that sexism is a thing of the past but there are still men out there that expect their women to stay at home and slave for them, fathers out there pimping out their daughters for ''bride price''( I  must confess,I am of Igbo origin  and  till this very day, I still don't understand the concept of bride price but far be it from me  to question over a century worth of customs and traditions...) .Some Men are so quick to judge women, tag them, as a matter of fact there so many terms used to reference women now that I am beginning to lose count..(e.g hoe, tramp, slut, bitch, thot... etc etc) Everyday women are being abused, violated, disrespected and it doesn't seem to matter. I have heard of a case where a girl's rape was reported and someone opened his mouth to say she wanted it, that somehow being raped was her fault, she led him on. In all my life I have never heard such chauvinistic nonsense.Don't even get me started on the trials women face in their places of work, trying to reach the peak of their careers, or even at school, just to pass their courses. The whole thing now has women turning against each other,which begs to answer this  question ; ladies please tell me  why the other woman is blamed when a man has an affair? A man makes a conscious decision to have an affair, yet somehow he has no share in the blame while the women are beat up or even killed. What is worse is that the women are now starting to refer to themselves as those terms. Countless times I have heard women say '' I  am a bad bitch"  or ''hey bitch what's up?'' I don't care what context it is used, it is unacceptable. How do you call yourself  a bitch or slut, and blame a man for treating you as such? Lets get real. Back to you boys, I am going to let  you in on a little secret, A good woman will open so much  doors for you if you treat her right, keep her happy,I can't even begin to explain just refer to proverbs 18;22 , proverbs 31. If you were good, a good woman will make you better and similarly, an act of wickedness , injustice or evil to a good woman can hinder your success in ways you can't imagine..(you're welcome). At the end of the day, all I am trying to say is ladies, respect and value yourselves, know your worth and Men, do well to remember that you are the head, but only the head in your home not in the office, not in the classroom just at home! And even then its no master/slave situation. The bible says that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and I wonder where we would be today if Christ treated us(the church ) the way a lot of men treat their wives at home...

Thanks for reading this, please leave a comment below , lets hear your thoughts, agreements or arguments and also, if  enjoyed this, DO subscribe .. have a blessed week.

 with all my love,

PAMELA

old school love

Old school love

I crave love, of a certain kind

ancient and true

unfathomable by the human mind

unlike anything we are used to...

A love so immaculate

still in black and white

so hard to infiltrate

with the darkening colors of today's light.

I desire a feeling

in its crudest form

where there is nothing worth concealing

and mutual respect is a norm.

Love likened to the time of our fathers,

legal and bold...

where i would know how much i matter,

without being told.

Love of the responsible kind

not the trash the media preaches...

founded on irrelevance but attractive to the eyes

turning young queens , into bad bitches.

What we call love in this time,

is anything but...

unjustly abused and refined...

claiming everything its not.

I don't want to have to hide

behind the shadows of evolution..

I want a love that is mine 

to have without any conditions.

Give me that old school love

unsaturated , concentrated...

virgin and pure...

unclothed ..not ashamed to be naked.

I need a love so timeless,

existing over generations..

so pure and colorless

leaving the fountains

 wallowing in the self  degradation.

Love that is unafraid 

to worship every inch of my body,

from years into decades,

only its thought would leave me yearning...

I crave a love so bright, 

the sun would be jealous 

the kind that treats me with respect

sees me for who i am,

not just a cheap excuse for sex

as real as the lines on my palms.

Love that fears no sacrifice,

love that is Christ in the soul

ever ready to compromise,

and never grows old.

For love such as this,

i am willing to pay any price.

I find that people nowadays are in love with the idea of love, the portrait it would paint, or the benefits. More people want a spouse or a patner just to please society or to show off , brag about how perfect and happy they are on social media, and my personal worst, a sort of justification for sex. when I think about the times of our fathers, i get so nostalgic. They did not have internet , or social media, they did not have the luxury of dating (at least not all of them) , but I would say that they have the most successful relationships. Because to them LOVE is based on spirituality, sacrifices, respect. I remember when my father only had one car, it was a black mercedez benz (not really sure the model now i was quite young lol) but the point is... my mum was still a student of UNILAG(University of Lagos, Nigeria) back then, my father gave up the only car he had for my mum to drive to school and around town while he used the public transportation system which is hell by the way.Now i know many people would say that was his duty and i agree but let me point out that it was also a choice, and he chose to be selfless, he chose to sacrifice, and do right by his woman. I don't know a lot  of guys that will do that today.People claim to be in love for years, but when its time to put in the work, to make those sacrifices, it is a different story. It is very contestable though but I welcome the challenge.. Listen, I  am sure there are some real ones out there and I am glad for them, I Pray we all have that but all i am saying is.. if everyone was as happy and floating in love as they implied on instagram and face book, then there would be no divorce or break-ups will there?

Thanks for reading, i would love to hear your thoughts , comments, additions or subtractions, personal experiences anything at all..
 With all my love,
Pamela.