''ALL I HAVE EVER KNOWN''

He hit me back then,

Day after day,

I could not cry,

I could not shout,

I could not tell anyone,

What it was about.

I thought to myself,

maybe he didn’t mean to do it,

And hit after hit,

I ran out of excuses to give,

for the man i called Father.

And Just when I thought it was over,

It began again.

He got me a pretty dress,

another day, it was chocolate.

To buy my forgiveness,

Or maybe it was my silence,

It worked the first dozen times,

But after stealing my innocence,

My taste buds grew numb.

The only love I have  ever known,

Was at the end of a clenched fist.

Black eyes, swollen lips and broken ribs.

Raised voices and hateful words,

And i grew so fond of the hurt,

I wore the pain on my sleeves.
Till this very day.

I know he will hit me again tomorrow,

And the day after,

Then he ll give me more gifts,roses,

make worthless promises.

And I will flash a broken smile,

Through my lifeless eyes.

He will tell me he loves me,

And I will believe him,

Just like I did my father..

He will desire my body,

And I will lay there,let him take it..

then hit me again after.

A little foundation and concealer,

always does the trick.

covers up the bruises perfectly,

while I rot underneath..

no one can know about my pain,

that I die a little bit more each day.

I thought about leaving,

But where would I go?

A breathtaking collage of bruises and scars,

Who can fix this broken,wounded soul..

I tried many times to start over,

But this love is all I have ever known.

Hey guys,
It's so good to be back. I really missed my wonderfully supportive readers but also I've been a little busy trying to turn my lemons into lemonade if you know what I mean. If you have read the above poem you might wonder what kind of monsters would do these things? why is she so stupid? why won't she leave?
I promise you guys, these things are really going on and not only is it going on ,1 out of 10 females are victims of one form of abuse or the other. and some of them are girls close to you and you might not have any idea. From the above piece, I tried to show how often times,it begins with the child. Some men really have no business being fathers and they have scarred so many little girls to the point of no return, so much that the abuse has now become a norm for them. Please please and please, we need to start taking psychological and emotional health more seriously especially in Nigeria. The whole country is going up in flames right from its roots, the common man on the street is angry as hell, taking it out on the next and to the next till it becomes an unending cycle of rage and violence and jungle justice. people are hurting silently everyday, slowly dying , why can't we just admit we need help? Professional help ,not just a visit to your local pastor. Not to say that pastors are no good but some people have more damage than one counselling session with their pastors can reach.
Since I am no expert at spiritual affairs, Let me get back to my girls real quick, If you are being abused or know someone who is, please start by speaking to someone or advice them to do so. Seek help, no one can help you except you. Don't Suffer and die in silence.I promise you, there is better out there.So much better and all you have to do is take the first step, tell someone, it might be difficult but once you find that courage, there will be no going back. I Love you and I am rooting for you.

        
WITH ALL MY HEART,
PAMELA.